Saturday, April 21, 2012


Dear Mason;

Happy 1st Birthday my sweet baby boy!

What a year this has been. This year has made me grow as mother and a person. I want to thank you for helping me become the best mother I could be. I cant lie and say this year hasnt been hard. It been the hardest year of my life, but its also been the best.

This year I fought for you. The Doctors told me that you wouldnt survive to birth. That you had to many complications. Your cystic hygroma was causing your body to shut down, your heart wasnt properly developed, and you had an extra chromosome. The day they told me all of this, I cried. My heart was broken. I couldn't imagine not having you survive. So we prayed.... everyone prayed. The Doctors gave you a 3% chance of survival , and that was just with the hygroma. That wasnt taking into account that your heart defect or down syndrome.
The odds were stacked against you my sweet child.

There were many times that I thought we were going to lose you. We had so many drs appointment where we were told " the end would be soon". There were several time they said "any day now he could pass". And again we prayed.

I prayed that Gods will be done. I remeber crying in the shower, I told you " Mason, Mommy loves you, but if you need to go to heaven, its ok. Just know that I love you and we will be together soon." My heart broke a little more that day. I knew it was all up to God.

Slowly but surly, you showed everyone what a miracle you are. You got a little better at each appointment. Your number looked better and you really started growing. You did well after all 4 amnio reductions ( they worried it would send me into labor or him into distress). Finally one of our pryaers were answered! Your hygroma was resolved! Something they said never happens, the same thing they said that would kill you. You showed everyone what a fighter you are.

On April 22nd you decided it was time to make your arrival ( 6 wks early). I remember being prepped for the C section, thinking " Well here we are, getting ready to deliver the baby they said would never survive". And when you were born, Dr G said he was almost ready to deliver you, i kept waiting to hear you cry, butyou didnt.... then I see Cory crying, and Dr G comes around the curtain holding you. He said "Meagan, hes perfect".....I started crying and all I could say as I looked into Corys tear filled eyes was "He made it". It was the best feeling ever. Our fight to get you here was over, we had won!

The next 11 day were kind of a blur. You were taken straight to the NICU and were there until you could finish every bottle for 24hrs.

Finally on May 3rd we were able to take you home to finally meet you big brother. Our family was finally together at last.

At 5 wks old, you went into heart failure. My heart broke again. To see your child struggle is one of the hardest thing to watch. We held tight until you were finally given a surgery date. Then after 3 wks of quarantine, it was finally time for open heart surgery.

On Sept 22nd , with tears running down my face, I handed you over to a team of surgeons. 7 LONG hours later we finally got word that your surgery was over and we could see you soon. It felt like it was hours before they finally let us back, and when I saw you I cried.

You looked so tiny and helpless on the bed. With so many wires, tubes, and machines connected to you. Your father was the brave one, always being strong for us. Holding us together as we waited 19 days in the hospital till we could bring you home.

After your surgery , your were a whole new kid! You had so much more energy!

You still had your struggles though. Your surgery caused you to lose some muscle tone ( cutting all your chest muscles also) so we hit the physical therapy/ occupational therapy big time! You grew stronger and stronger. You have so much determination! and now here we are......

You are ONE.

You can stand, sit, clap , sign milk, army crawl, eat real food, sleep like a champ , and amaze everyone.

I am so proud of all you have done in the first 365 day of your life, I cant wait to see what else you can do!

I love you , always and forever


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Vein Scan

Just a quick update for Mason's "purple Issue"

Mason had a vein scan done yesterday, everything looked ok. We will get the full report tomorrow from the Dr. Hopefully we are one step closer to some answers.....

Now onto a sneak peek....

Mason will be 1yr old in 3 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Shades of purple

Mason has a heart defect.

With that heart defect come several things that are our "new normal". Mason has several medication he takes for his heart, he sees LOTS of Drs, and if any little "issue" pops up.... were put on full alert.

Full alert with Mason means:
Call to cardiologist
Call to Pediatrician
Call to his Childrens Mercy Drs
Emergency Room visit
or a 1hr long ambulance ride to Childrens Mercy

Not only is it calling Drs...its also alerting Cory at work that something is going on, texting Grandparents & family members to what is occurring , Finding someone to watch Colby while we go to ER/Dr. Office/ or Ambulance, packing a small bag of essential for Mason & I to store in the van ( just in case of a longer visit than a few hours), and a bag for Colby.

After the "alarms are sounded", I get to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. And I have to do this in the most calmest way possible. Thankfully we have done this enough times that we all pretty much know what to do, who to call, and where to go. But even that hasnt taken away from the fact that it scares me every time we do it.

Yesterday, the alarm was sounded.

Mason is having an issue with his arms & feet turning purple. His physical therapist arrived that morning and before we could even start, Masons arms and feet turned purple and he seemed to have several other "red flags" ( heavy breathing, slow cap refill, and puffy). We actually all discussed what to do and actually didnt to his therapy.

BACK INFO : This wasnt the first time Mason has had these purple episodes. Every time it happens we take him to where ever the Drs think is best and in the end they never find anything actually wrong, except he turns purple ( you know, just that little factor THAT HE IS PURPLE!!! And Mason otherwise seem perfectly fine.)

So I sound the alarms, putting in calls to all of his Drs. We were told to go straight to ER, and thats just what we did.........

Almost 4.5 hrs later, we return home with no explanation of what is causing this. His 02 went back to 100 ( was 87 when we got there) , his numbers were good, and his chest xray was clear. The Drs at the ER were again baffled at what could be causing it.

So, the frustated mother I had become, decided that I was dont taking "Were not sure" for an answer and figure this thing out!

First step was to call the Cardiologist first thing this morning, but luckly we have a great Dr, and they called us first. The wanted a echo today ASAP. Then we called his pediatrician and got an appointment this morning to see her. His appointment with the pediatrician went very well. She got the ball moving on a game plan to figure this out. We will start with the echo results, since they dont think its his heart causing it, and go from there.

Mason's 02 has been in the 97-99 range so far today and has 1 episode of color changing. ( he acts perfectly normal when it changes and shows no adverse reactions from it) Were just hoping that the Echo goes well and we can start to find some answers.....

Monday, April 9, 2012

Happy Easter 2012

Photos from our wonderful Easter Sunday

Colby and Mason
(the only pic of both of them together....oh well!)
Colby looking handsome as well

After church we went to Cory's Parents house for lunch and egg hunt for the kids.
Colby & his cousin sam played
Did an Easter egg hunt

Colby hunting eggs

Mason and I sat on the swing and watched

Then the boys played some more

Then it was off to my side of the family's for dinner and fun! We had a yummy dinner, then it was time for the egg hunt.

Cousin Madyson, hunting eggs

Mason got an egg with Aunt Jennys help

Addyson and Hunter found lots of eggs as well
( being 5 & 4yrs old....they were pretty competitive!)

We finished our day off with lots of yummy desserts, while Grandma rocked Mason to sleep. Then we loaded up in the van, and headed home.

Best Easter so far!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday.

Good Friday will always hold a special place in my heart, because Mason Dean was born last year on Good Friday. Though this year it is a few weeks ahead of his birthday, it still is a special day.

Right after Mason was born , My mom came into my recovery room. I hadnt even really gotten to see him yet since they had wisked him off to the NICU. I was still very groggy and was trying "wake up" as much as possible so I could go see him. My mom was telling me how beautiful he was, how much dark hair he had, how alert he was, and that everyone was in love with him already. Then the nurse was putting all of his birth info into the computer in my room ( weight, time, ect) and she said " oh a Good Friday baby". My mom and I looked at each other, without having to say a word, and with a tearful smile I said "that makes it perfect". Knowing God was showing you just how blessed we truly were.

Now this year we will celebrate this beautiful Easter weekend, ( not stuck in the hospital/NICU). We will put on our Easter outfits and head to Church. Praising God for all he has done.