Thursday, August 18, 2011
A letter to myself
Looking back almost 7 months ago....I wish I could have told myself it would be ok...so here is a letter to my pregnant self
Dear Pregnant Meagan;
Although right now everything is dark & gloomy, I want you to know your going to be just fine . Your life is going to change, your going to get some news you never expected. The Dr.s are going to tell you that Mason has Down syndrome, but sadly that is not all of it. Mason will be diagnosed with a Cystic hygroma... they will tell you he wont make it. You will endure a pregnancy filled with a lot of unknowns. You will have procedures done that will scare you ...but you will be ok. You will fine you are stronger than you ever thought possible...and that Eventually you will realize your sweet baby growing inside is a fighter also.
I know it feels like you cant stop crying, but soon the tears will be less & less. Right now will most likely be the hardest part of your life. Sadly only Cory & you know how it feels, others will try to understand what you are going through..but they wont be able to. Its just something they will never understand. But know that they all love you & love Mason. That Mason will be getting prayers from all over the world. You will be humbled by all the people who don't even know you, who are praying for your son. Right now all you can think about are all the scary words the Dr.s have thrown at you.... Down syndrome, heart defect, cystic hygroma, 3% survival rate.... but in the end these words wont see so scary. The Dr.s are going to tell you to prepare for the worst. You and Cory will set up funeral plans. It will break your heart like never before....but take care in knowing that Mason will come into this world
There will be a time during this pregnancy where you will tell Mason that its ok, he doesn't have to fight so hard anymore, that he can go to heaven, That mommy will see him again when she gets there. To utter these words will be that hardest words you ever say. You will be ok in the end...I promise. Mason will surprise you all along the way. Dont count him out, he will prove everyone wrong. He will be the answer to all your prayers. So dry your tears, and try to enjoy your pregnancy. In the end...all will be ok.
Your Future Self
Photos by GM photography (thank you again for the beautiful images)
Posted by Mrs. B at 11:26 AM