It makes me cry

This last year has been a wild ride. There have been the lowest of lows and highest of highs. I honestly didnt think Mason would be here, celebrating Christmas with us. The thought makes me cry, but I cry happy tears. Tears of JOY! We are so very very blessed that our sweet Mason is here on earth with us.

After we found out the Mason had the Cystic hygroma, heart defect, and Down syndrome, I was so worried for this tiny unborn child. I saw all that he was up against. I prayed that God would take care of him. In praying those prayers, I was also afraid that God would need to take him to heaven, till we could meet him later. All my heart wanted was for Mason to be with us, but I knew that was selfish. I had to keep telling myself that God is in control. That if Mason wasnt here to stay, that I would see him again. I would have dreams at night of Mason meeting me at heavens gates, being rocked to sleep by angels, and playing in heavens playground. These dream brought me peace, but also heartache. So when our sweet boy made his arrival into this world, I thanked God for granting me this time with him.... no matter how short the time would be.

So at every event and every holiday, I cry. I cry because these are moments that I thought I would never get to have with Mason. I look at my boy, growing and triving, and it all because our God is a good God.

So this Christmas morning, I will have tear filled eyes as I tell my sweet boy , "Merry Christmas"