We are over the moon happy for the news we got on Thursday! Then shortly after all the celebrating... Worry took its place. We feel so blessed to FINALLY get some good news about Mason....but were not out of the woods yet.
My heart feels torn between happy & sad. Part of me is still to afraid to get excited just yet. We still have a long road ahead and some days my strength is running low. I feel like my happiness got overshadowed by all the worry I feel for the future.
All I know to do is take a deep breath...and pray.
We have a hard journey ahead still but our path seems brightly lit now. I feel releif in the fact that we can actually "Plan" for Mason now. That there is finally hope that we will get to keep him here on earth with us. We have been avoiding purchasing things for Mason, out of fear he wouldnt be here to stay. But I finally feel peace enough to start to make some purchases. It makes my heart flutter! Then a small cloud comes overhead. Worry. Worry of the challenges we will face with Mason.
I have heard several times... DS babies are so sweet, DS kids are like angels on earth, Mason is a special gift for a special family.
Part of me wants to scream! Im still dealing with the heartache that Mason will not be the perfect baby we thought we were having. There will be challenges that we will be facing that no one around us could even imagine. As hard as they try to understand what we are going thourgh... they cant really imagine how hard this is some times. Parents shouldnt have to worry about Open heart surgery,Feeding tubes , Developmental delays, or heart failure. But we have to ...because that was the hand we were dealt. Though some days I wish I could "fold"...I know it will be hard but we will be ok in the end.
I know people don't know what to say to us some times. "Im sorry" seems to be said often. That phrase ..."Im sorry"....sometimes stings. When those words are uttered with sounds and looks of sadness and pity. Like we received a death sentence. Although some days it sadly seems like we did. but 99% of those day we live like Mason will be just a regular baby. Yes he will have DS....but he will still be a baby. And that part we can celebrate.
*** I have had several people ask about purchases, letters, and cards for Mason. We are humbled by your generosity and I will be adding a contact feature to the blog with email & address.****
Also we got a treasure box this weekend from Kansas City Down Syndrome Guild.
They blessed us with a large box full of Down syndrome books, dvds, information hand outs for family & friends, a cute outfit for Mason, and lots more! I cried when we got the box. It was so full of great info. THANK YOU KCDSG~!