We are over the moon happy for the news we got on Thursday! Then shortly after all the celebrating... Worry took its place. We feel so blessed to FINALLY get some good news about Mason....but were not out of the woods yet.
My heart feels torn between happy & sad. Part of me is still to afraid to get excited just yet. We still have a long road ahead and some days my strength is running low. I feel like my happiness got overshadowed by all the worry I feel for the future.
All I know to do is take a deep breath...and pray.
We have a hard journey ahead still but our path seems brightly lit now. I feel releif in the fact that we can actually "Plan" for Mason now. That there is finally hope that we will get to keep him here on earth with us. We have been avoiding purchasing things for Mason, out of fear he wouldnt be here to stay. But I finally feel peace enough to start to make some purchases. It makes my heart flutter! Then a small cloud comes overhead. Worry. Worry of the challenges we will face with Mason.
I have heard several times... DS babies are so sweet, DS kids are like angels on earth, Mason is a special gift for a special family.
Part of me wants to scream! Im still dealing with the heartache that Mason will not be the perfect baby we thought we were having. There will be challenges that we will be facing that no one around us could even imagine. As hard as they try to understand what we are going thourgh... they cant really imagine how hard this is some times. Parents shouldnt have to worry about Open heart surgery,Feeding tubes , Developmental delays, or heart failure. But we have to ...because that was the hand we were dealt. Though some days I wish I could "fold"...I know it will be hard but we will be ok in the end.
I know people don't know what to say to us some times. "Im sorry" seems to be said often. That phrase ..."Im sorry"....sometimes stings. When those words are uttered with sounds and looks of sadness and pity. Like we received a death sentence. Although some days it sadly seems like we did. but 99% of those day we live like Mason will be just a regular baby. Yes he will have DS....but he will still be a baby. And that part we can celebrate.
*** I have had several people ask about purchases, letters, and cards for Mason. We are humbled by your generosity and I will be adding a contact feature to the blog with email & address.****
Also we got a treasure box this weekend from Kansas City Down Syndrome Guild.
They blessed us with a large box full of Down syndrome books, dvds, information hand outs for family & friends, a cute outfit for Mason, and lots more! I cried when we got the box. It was so full of great info. THANK YOU KCDSG~!
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I totally understand where the worry comes from. No parent should ever have to think about the things that you are thinking about or that I have to think about with my son, Ian. I also think that we get a little head start on parenting and worrying is a big pat of that job:)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on making purchases. That makes Mason's journey much more normal for you. Every baby deserves to be celebrated no matter what challenges and the best thing that anyone can ever tell you with Mason is "Congratulations" on a sweet little boy that is so loved already.
May you still find the rainbows in this journey and may the worry clouds not loom too long on any given thought or part of this journey.
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family and for Mr. Mason.
It's true that I cannot possibly put myself in your place. I am so very sure, though, that these challenges will take a back seat to the joy that Mason will bring everyone that he meets. Already, he has touched so many people! Isn't it amazing that he can do this before he is even born? What a blessing he is!
ReplyDeleteI'm also really glad to hear that you're in contact with the local DS association. I have heard that they are super helpful and a huge blessing to those who come in contact with them.
Many blessings to you all!
I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for you. I know how you feel...all the uncertainty that lies ahead. My son was born with a cleft lip and palate. He is now 2 1/2 years old and has had 5 surgeries and counting. It will be hard, people are mean out there and its so sad when people stare, I would cry myself to sleep because I hated it. I never once felt the need to defend myself especially because people would stare or make comments to me. I know my son is God's child and God would take care of them in due time. Right now it feels like you are in a storm, but without the rain, there would be no rainbow. Believe me, I see the rainbow every single day and noone will ever take that away from you. It's hard not knowing what lies ahead and what your life will become. It will be hard and frustrating at times, but God will always be there for you. God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHi Meagan,
ReplyDeleteMy Dad isn't sure how to post this to your blog, so he asked me to do it for him:
I haven't read people's comments, but the ones on this date sound like people with experience. After listening to people's spirits over the years, I sense a tender, compassionate, cheerful spirit in you, which can easily get bruised and hurt. Though it may be trite, the little saying goes: "True love hurts" and I have seen that happen in many people. My prayer for you and Cory is that God will allow the circumstances not to drag you down into sorrow's pity, but give you His grace to keep your spirits positive in the midst of depressive valley's echoes.--Garth Betry