Saturday, February 5, 2011
Getting things together
Since our news on Wed. we have been getting things together for Mason. We have realized that though we pray everyday for our little boy to pull through....its very possible we will meet him in the next few weeks.
Our have had to talk about a few thing i never though we would ever have to do. Arrangements for Mason if God calls him to heaven.
As a parent you never think about burying your child. In my mind...a parent shouldn't ever have to bury a child. But this is life...and life is hard. Life is harder than I ever knew possible. There is more pain , tears, and heartache than our hearts can handle.
We have started making plans for Mason's "early arrival". Our wonderful family is helping as much as they can. Its easier now that everyone knows what our wishes are, without having to repeat them during this journey.
We are gathering a few thing for Mason, special things. Cory's mom has already made the blanket (light green like in the dream) along with a smaller version to keep in a memory box. (Trying to find a green one with elephant on it??) I have learned how to knit hats this week ...and have knitted Mason a tiny hat. We found some small white booties also..but im afraid they will be to big (not sure where to find smaller ones?). We are still looking for a "micro preemie" gown to dress him in.
** My hope are that one day I can pull out that memory box and show Mason what a true miracle he is ***
As we gather these thing my heart breaks a little more. I dont want to make arrangements or pick out gowns , but I want to be prepared. I want to enjoy the time we have with Mason. So if that means planning ahead so we can, I will.
My eyes are tired.
Tired from crying everyday.
I try to distract myself with thing...but the thoughts of what is to come overtake me.
Please God give me the strength to do this...for I don't think Iam strong enough for this pain.
Posted by Mrs. B at 9:56 PM