Since our news on Wed. we have been getting things together for Mason. We have realized that though we pray everyday for our little boy to pull through....its very possible we will meet him in the next few weeks.
Our have had to talk about a few thing i never though we would ever have to do. Arrangements for Mason if God calls him to heaven.
As a parent you never think about burying your child. In my mind...a parent shouldn't ever have to bury a child. But this is life...and life is hard. Life is harder than I ever knew possible. There is more pain , tears, and heartache than our hearts can handle.
We have started making plans for Mason's "early arrival". Our wonderful family is helping as much as they can. Its easier now that everyone knows what our wishes are, without having to repeat them during this journey.
We are gathering a few thing for Mason, special things. Cory's mom has already made the blanket (light green like in the dream) along with a smaller version to keep in a memory box. (Trying to find a green one with elephant on it??) I have learned how to knit hats this week ...and have knitted Mason a tiny hat. We found some small white booties also..but im afraid they will be to big (not sure where to find smaller ones?). We are still looking for a "micro preemie" gown to dress him in.
** My hope are that one day I can pull out that memory box and show Mason what a true miracle he is ***
As we gather these thing my heart breaks a little more. I dont want to make arrangements or pick out gowns , but I want to be prepared. I want to enjoy the time we have with Mason. So if that means planning ahead so we can, I will.
My eyes are tired.
Tired from crying everyday.
I try to distract myself with thing...but the thoughts of what is to come overtake me.
Please God give me the strength to do this...for I don't think Iam strong enough for this pain.
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As always your strength is an inspiration, Mrs B. I keep you and your family in my prayers-my heart hurt when I read the latest news. The things you've gathered for him are lovely; I like the hat you've made (I can only knit in a straight line - scarves!). Do you know how to make booties, too? I wonder if you could turn to Etsy for the rest. It seems like the gown and box could be custom made by someone who makes those things on a regular basis. I'm positive much TLC and T&P would go into them; your blog touches all of our hearts.
ReplyDeleteI've been following along with Mason on the Bump and my prayers go out to your family. A friend of mine just recently lost her little one due to pre-term labor caused by an infection. She worked with an organization called Now I lay me down to sleep and said they were unbelievably sensitive and she is so glad she has the memories to keep forever. http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
ReplyDeleteI sincerely pray your little Mason pulls off his miracle.
Following along on your journey and praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteYou are an incredibly strong woman. I pray for you and Baby Mason often.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Christine In San Francisco
I saw this story and you are breaking my heart. I am the grandmother of a little girl named Ava born at 26.5 weeks. It was expected that she would be lost starting at the end of the first trimester. Everything was wrong, but Ava & my daughter managed to hang on until 26.5 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI know what I am about to saw may sound bizarre, but in the world you are in, it is true. It is "good news" that you actually know your little Mason is in trouble. It means that the doctors can do everything possible to prepare him for his early arrival. Likely you have already been given steroid shots, usually 2, if not, you will be soon. This will help Mason tremendously!!! It will mature is lungs and his brain. That alone can make all the difference in the world.
There are a lot of micro preemies that arrive way to early, without any kind of warning. Those are the ones who will have the hardest time.
So try to stay positive for Mason. No thinking about the worst possible outcome. You are working harder then anyone can imagine and under incredible stress, but don't let Mason feel that. Let him feel your strength.
Your little hat is precious, and he is going to look so sweet in it should he arrive early. If you make it to 30 weeks, that will be awesome! But if not, hey are quite often saving 22 weekers anymore. Here is some info to help you understand what is ahead with some statistics on survival rates. Kind of Preemie 101. www.avababys.com/servlet/the-template/whatisapreemie/Page
I wish you all the best with little Mason.
Rebecca @
AvaBaby's
Thoughts and prayers for you. My son was born at 27 weeks and wasn't supposed to be here today but he is now 5. I understand how stressful and emotional this time is for you and you are a great mother for Mason. May you find the strength that you need to go through this journey. Prayers for you and Mason. if you need another micropreemie mom to talk to, then please let me know.
ReplyDeleteDora
Sending lots of thoughts and prayers for Mason and your family.
ReplyDelete