Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Holding my breath

Today I feel like I am holding my breath, waiting for "something" to happen. Im not sure what the "something" is that I am waiting for....just that "something" has to happen.

Something good
Something bad
Just something

We have at least 1 Dr. appt a week right now (sometimes more). I keep waiting for that "something" at each appointment. I feel like we are going to get that "something" tomorrow. Yes , tomorrow. Tomorrow we have a ultrasound to check on Mason. Check his hygroma, his edema, and to check for hydrop. ***hydrops are fluid around his organs, hydrops are 100% fatal in Masons case*** I just have this feeling deep down.... that we will get some news tomorrow...just not sure if it will be good news or bad.

There are 2 scenarios possible tomorrow:
#1: GOOD NEWS: hygroma is smaller, no more edema, and no hydrops.
#2: Bad New: hygroma is larger, edema is worse, and there are hydrops present.

We are praying ever so hard for #1! Because I dont think I can handle #2. If Mason shows the hydrops we will be induced to try to "help him " before the hydrops do their damage. This mommy isnt ready for that. Not yet, not ever.

Before each ultrasound, i secretly pray that Mason pops on the screen and he is perfectly healthy. No hygroma or heart defect. That has yet to happen, but I will continue to pray it does.

So for all those who are praying with us.... pray tomorrow morning brings us good news.

(our appointment is at 8:45am)

5 comments:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you Meagan..

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  2. MollyMurphy (another tri board mom!)February 8, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    Praying for you...praying for comfort and strength for you, Mason, your husband and your friends and family. Checking on your blog periodically...but always praying for all of you, especially tomorrow at 8:45.

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  3. My prayers are with you and Baby Mason.

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  4. I am agreeing with you in prayer the there will be GOOD news tomorrow.

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  5. Hi...you don't know me but I've been following from the bump. I was on the May 2011 board until December when I lost my daughter at 18 weeks. Now I lurk on the mc/loss board, still too raw to write/join. Your Mason and my Chris would have been born a week apart had things gone the way we hoped. As painful as my loss has been, it was quick - my water broke and I delivered, I can't imagine what you are going through and you are all in my prayers. We are both blessed in that we have another child who needs us and puts smiles on our faces during the most difficult times. Your faith is incredible and I pray that it sustains you in the days and months ahead.

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