Sunday, December 25, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

It makes me cry

This last year has been a wild ride. There have been the lowest of lows and highest of highs. I honestly didnt think Mason would be here, celebrating Christmas with us. The thought makes me cry, but I cry happy tears. Tears of JOY! We are so very very blessed that our sweet Mason is here on earth with us.

After we found out the Mason had the Cystic hygroma, heart defect, and Down syndrome, I was so worried for this tiny unborn child. I saw all that he was up against. I prayed that God would take care of him. In praying those prayers, I was also afraid that God would need to take him to heaven, till we could meet him later. All my heart wanted was for Mason to be with us, but I knew that was selfish. I had to keep telling myself that God is in control. That if Mason wasnt here to stay, that I would see him again. I would have dreams at night of Mason meeting me at heavens gates, being rocked to sleep by angels, and playing in heavens playground. These dream brought me peace, but also heartache. So when our sweet boy made his arrival into this world, I thanked God for granting me this time with him.... no matter how short the time would be.

So at every event and every holiday, I cry. I cry because these are moments that I thought I would never get to have with Mason. I look at my boy, growing and triving, and it all because our God is a good God.

So this Christmas morning, I will have tear filled eyes as I tell my sweet boy , "Merry Christmas"

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fears are gone....

This is something I wrote back in February , when we thought Mason could pass away at any time.. I can now answer these questions I had...

After we got the diagnosis of down syndrome, we were crushed. Everyone kept telling us everything will be ok. That Mason will just be "extra special". But there are several worries that have been running through my head....

Will others accept Mason?

Yes, they will greet him with open arms

Will others not think he is worth as much as normal children?

Yes, Actually I think he is worth more..

Will others only see his down syndrome , not his personality?

I think most just see Mason as Mason. There are still people that think a lot about the DS and their questions are most always directed towards his DS...but I pray they will come around and just see him for the incredible miracle he is. I just wish people would realize that he can be treated just like a regular baby...dont ask me a million questions about him and ask if its DS related or medical conditions... just ask me normal baby questions

Will others think he is not as beautiful as normal babies?

Mason was born even more beautiful than I could ever imagine...He is a beautiful baby, super sweet, and always smiling!

Will they celebrate his birth?”

At Mason's birth there was tears of joy streaming down everyone's faces, The nurse said she had never seen such a "fan club" waiting outside the OR to see a little baby! We had so many friends and family. To have everyone there supporting us and celebrating him was wonderful.

Will people feel uncomfortable around him?

I think the only thing that made people "uncomfortable " around him was right after this surgery and holding him. They didn't wanna hurt him..or hold him wrong But other than that everyone seem pretty casual with him.

Will people only feel sorry for us, and not share in our joy?

Im sure there are people out there who feel sorry for us. We don't feel sorry for ourselves. We feel blessed beyond words. The people who might feel sorry for us, must not know us very well. Others will try to cut down our joy with trying to "over shadow" us with their own " accomplishments" but they only do it because they are insecure with the attention Mason receives.

Will others avoid us?

I haven't really had anyone try to avoid us, But I avoid situations that are not healthy for Mason & I.

I worry about how the world will accept Mason. But even more I worry about keeping him safe and praying he is born as healthy as possible.

Our life is so full of un answered questions... but God will answer them one by one.

God answered all of our prayers, and though it wasn't always in the exact way we thought. Mason is here and doing great. We owe all of this to our Most High God. He did miracles in a baby that the "world" didn't want. But God wanted him, just as much as we did.

I know our journey wont be an easy one, that our road will be difficult at times, but I know in the end we will all be better because of it.

Mason Dean, you are my light to the path that God has chosen for me. I love you with all my heart sweet baby boy.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

In the clear...

Last week at Mason's cardiology appointment (3 appts that day!) We got some great news.....Mason wont need to be seen by the Cardiologist until FEBRUARY!!!!! Can u believe that??? We went from 3x a week echos to 8wks ~!


Mason is also doing great on the weight gain department. He is now a little over 15lbs and growing! We had is regular pediatrician checkup before Dr. Nelson goes on maternity leave. Mason is growing right on the DS "curve" he is steady in the 40-50% on everything. Also his Dr. said his development is only lacking on sitting (but some "regular, term, non OHS babies are not always sitting at this age either). So overall a great appointment day!

Mason has also started on a new vitamin for children with Down syndrome. Its called Nutrivene D and I will be blogging on his progress with this. So far he is "babbling" more and is gaining weight ( he wasn't really gaining before we started NVD). So keep a lookout for our progress with that and this PT/OT therapies as well~!