Getting things together

Since our news on Wed. we have been getting things together for Mason. We have realized that though we pray everyday for our little boy to pull through....its very possible we will meet him in the next few weeks.

Our have had to talk about a few thing i never though we would ever have to do. Arrangements for Mason if God calls him to heaven.

As a parent you never think about burying your child. In my mind...a parent shouldn't ever have to bury a child. But this is life...and life is hard. Life is harder than I ever knew possible. There is more pain , tears, and heartache than our hearts can handle.

We have started making plans for Mason's "early arrival". Our wonderful family is helping as much as they can. Its easier now that everyone knows what our wishes are, without having to repeat them during this journey.

We are gathering a few thing for Mason, special things. Cory's mom has already made the blanket (light green like in the dream) along with a smaller version to keep in a memory box. (Trying to find a green one with elephant on it??) I have learned how to knit hats this week ...and have knitted Mason a tiny hat. We found some small white booties also..but im afraid they will be to big (not sure where to find smaller ones?). We are still looking for a "micro preemie" gown to dress him in.

** My hope are that one day I can pull out that memory box and show Mason what a true miracle he is ***

As we gather these thing my heart breaks a little more. I dont want to make arrangements or pick out gowns , but I want to be prepared. I want to enjoy the time we have with Mason. So if that means planning ahead so we can, I will.

My eyes are tired.
Tired from crying everyday.
I try to distract myself with thing...but the thoughts of what is to come overtake me.

Please God give me the strength to do this...for I don't think Iam strong enough for this pain.

Upsetting appointment today,

I had an appointment with Dr. G this morning. I thought today would be a usual appointment, blood pressure check, hear the heartbeat, weight check, and measure my belly. I was partially right...because they did do all those things. But then the appointment took a turn.

We were told we need to prepare for Masons arrival, soon.

With the fluid backup & the Edema, Mason is heading down hill. We knew that there was a major possibility that this was going to happen. And now it is happening.

We are going to do weekly sonograms to check on Mason. So we will know if he does make a turn for the worse. If Mason condition worsens we will deliver. We were told we will most likely deliver before 30wks now(if Mason makes it that far). That is only 5 wks away. There isn't much that they can do for him if he is delivered but at least we will get to spend some time with him.

We are still praying that Mason pulls through and beats the odds.

I wanted to share something with you :

The night we found out about Mason's conditions I had a dream. In my dream, I was holding a tiny baby boy. He was wrapped in a soft green blanket. I couldnt see his face but I could see his fuzzy hair peeking over the blanket. I was at the Gates of heaven, where an angel met me there. She took the baby from my arms and quietly whispered something to him. Then she gently smiled at me and turn and walked slowly back into heaven.

I had this dream again last night, same dream as before. I feel as though God is telling me he will take care of Mason till Mommy can hold him again.

Amnio reduction procedure yesterday...

Yesterday I had an amnio reduction procedure done. The procedure was done because my amniotic fluid is off the charts! My fluid level should be at 12 at the most. Last wed my fluid was 26. yeah.....not good. Then we went in on Monday to find my fluid is now almost 30 (in 5days).

The procedure is pretty simple. We started out with a sonogram (love sneaking another peek at Mason) and sweet Terri got some good 3d pics of Mason's face. She measured the fluid and then found the best place to remove the fluid. Then Dr. Evans came in and set up the area. ***this procedure is very similar to a amniocentesis (except they take a lot more out***. Then the procedure started. Dr. E inserted a long needle all the way to my uterus. Then he has to "pop" through the uterus (worst part). Then he starts draining the fluid off. I laid really still as not to move the needle. Mason must of known to sit still also because he didn't move much the whole time..except when he tried to grab the needle!! After about 25min later they were finished and removed the needle.

Terri then monitored Mason for a bit after wards. She measured the fluid levels again and said we went from almost 30 to 20. Still off the charts but I feel SO MUCH BETTER. My belly is actually smaller!! And if you have seen my belly recently...you would have thought I could deliver any day! Yes it was that big.

I went home afterwards and took it easy the rest of the day. Cory made us dinner and took care of Colby so I could rest. And rest I did...until Colby woke up sick at 1am ....back to the real world for me!

So for the recap:
Mason still looks good on the sono.
My belly is smaller (YAY!!)
Cory is a great husband
Colby is sick (booo)
and now Mommy needs a nap

Thank you again for all the prayers we are still receiving! It amazes me everyday how many people are praying for our Mason. It is just truly humbling to realize that so many people love your child and pray for his well being.

Thank you again

Here is little Mason's face. To the right is placenta ...not the hygroma



P.S.
Thank you Jody for the ever so special donation in Mason's name. You are truly a special woman. May God bless you and keep you in his care. (hold that little girl tight)