I sit here at the computer smiling and crying at the same time. Smiling because Mason is just a kicking away in there but soon after the smile comes the tears. Tears from the pain my heart feels for my little boy.
Pain of the unknown.
I feel like life is in a high speed wobble. Nothing seems to make sense. How can my little boy kick so strongly...but be so sick? It is hard to understand when my belly is growing and I can feel Mason kicking and moving... that something is wrong with our sweet baby.
Right now should be such a happy time for us. Picking out bedding, washing baby clothes, organizing diapers, picking out a double stroller...but no. We cant do any of those things.
I now know that this wont be the "perfect pregnancy" that we thought it would be. Instead we are stuck. Stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Even though this isnt how we thought the next 4 months would go... There is one thought that keeps running through my mind... GOD ONLY GIVES US WHAT WE CAN HANDLE. So the man upstairs must know our TRUE STRENGTH. Strength we never knew we had.
Many Blessing to you.