I sit here at the computer smiling and crying at the same time. Smiling because Mason is just a kicking away in there but soon after the smile comes the tears. Tears from the pain my heart feels for my little boy.
Pain of the unknown.
I feel like life is in a high speed wobble. Nothing seems to make sense. How can my little boy kick so strongly...but be so sick? It is hard to understand when my belly is growing and I can feel Mason kicking and moving... that something is wrong with our sweet baby.
Right now should be such a happy time for us. Picking out bedding, washing baby clothes, organizing diapers, picking out a double stroller...but no. We cant do any of those things.
I now know that this wont be the "perfect pregnancy" that we thought it would be. Instead we are stuck. Stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Even though this isnt how we thought the next 4 months would go... There is one thought that keeps running through my mind... GOD ONLY GIVES US WHAT WE CAN HANDLE. So the man upstairs must know our TRUE STRENGTH. Strength we never knew we had.
Many Blessing to you.
Mrs. B
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I happened to see your post on The Bump and clicked over. I don't know you, but I'm so proud of how you are being faithful to God even through such a scary time. You are totally right- God does know what you can handle, and with Him on your side that's a lot. Keep loving and praying for your little guy and I'm sure God will bless you, even if it's in an unexpected way. I wish I could give you a big hug, but I instead I hope you feel just a little encouraged to keep holding on the God's promises. I'm praying for you, Mason, and your family tonight. Love you you!
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs B,
ReplyDeleteI've been following you via The Bump, but decided to comment on here instead. I admire you and your family's strength so much. Thank you for being so open in your posts - for sharing your heart and your faith. God has certainly chosen good people for Mason.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you,
Stephanie aka UrbanFlowerpot
what bittersweet feelings for you.still praying.
ReplyDeleteI am so touched by your faith! I just want you to know that my bible study group here in TX are praying for your family, and especially for baby Mason!!
ReplyDelete