I feel stuck.
Stuck in a rain cloud.
I feel like my "happy meter" only goes to 65%.
These last few days have been hard. I think its because I am coming to terms with what is going on with Mason. I get lost in the "what ifs" and "maybes". I find myself getting lost in my thoughts...and my thoughts always turn to Mason.
I feel stuck in the middle of this pregnancy. Stuck, because for us, there isn't a perfect ending. There are so many "normal" things we cant do now. Just normal "get ready for baby" things. Things that I so badly want to do...but I cant. Instead I have to sit on the side-lines and wait.
Im tired, my body & my heart are tired. I keep hearing everyone say "your so strong" and "I admire your strength". I almost want to look around to see if they are talking to someone else...because Im NOT strong. I don't feel like I have the strength to go through this. Maybe God got the wrong person...Im not a strong person. Not strong enough for this.
As I told a friend the other day. You dont know how strong you can be until you are a parent. When its your children you need to be strong for...you would be amazed how strong you can be. Mason has made me strong. But God has made me stronger than I ever knew. Even though I dont feel strong...I am strong...because of GOD.
Thank you for all the continued prayers for Mason.
And a special thank you to Becca @ Jumping Jax Designs for the beautiful blog design. Thank you again Becca.