Saturday, January 8, 2011

Meet Mason

This is Masons journey:
We found out in Sept 2010 that were were expecting baby #2. Our son Colby had just turned 1 in May. We were so happy our plan had worked! We wanted our children about 2yrs apart. Baby # 2 would be expected right after Colby's 2nd birthday.

This pregnancy has had it share of complications since the beginning. We went to ER at about 6wks with cramping and spotting. Everything turned out to be just fine, we saw a tiny flicker of a heartbeat on the ultrasound. We were in love already. The pregnancy progressed and so did a few more "situations". It started off with morning sickness that lasted ALL DAY. Well after trying several meds, and 2 trips to ER for fluids, I was diagnosed with severe morning sickness. The new meds helped but by my 16wk appt. I had already lost 21 lbs. This wasn't too concerning since I had some "extra". Thing went a little crazy at about 17wks. I started having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions, thought it was kinda early, but with it being baby # 2 I wasn't too concerned. Until 4 days later. In the afternoon my BHs turned into full blown contractions...every 5min. So off to labor & Delivery we went. They got them under control and I eventually got to go home. The next day we had a sono done to check cervix. My cervix was funneling and shortening. It was something we were going to have to watch for. OTHER than that all was going fine and dandy....until our 20wk Dr. appt.

Looking back now....It was the day our lives changed forever. I had an appointment for a anatomy scan at 9:45am and a 20wk apt. with our reg Doctor. Jen (our u/s tech) greeted me as always and back I went for the ultrasound. (I went by myself that day. Cory stayed home to watch Colby and to spend some daddy/son time. We had already found out what we were having a Boy.) Jen started the u/s and all was going well. Mason popped right up on the screen, moving and waving. We chatted and then she seemed kinda distracted. I figured she was just trying to do her job. She started by taking pic of Masons head and neck. LOTS of pics were being printed off. Still I didn't think much about it. Then she moved to his heart, many more pics were printed again. Then all of a sudden it was over. Looking back now she never measured his organs (besides his heart), or looked at much else. We were still chatting and she said to wait in waiting room till they called me back for reg appointment. While I waited I texted everyone that Mason was still a boy and my cervix went from 3.5 to 3.0 in 2 wks. A few min later I was called back. On to the scale I went (down 1 lb from last week) then off to the room. The nurse took my blood pressure and asked if anything had changed since last week. Then I waited for my Dr to come in. Dr Gleason came into the room. He had a different manor than normal. He is a very "relaxed" and easy to talk to...but that day..he seemed kinda upset. He started right off with " I got your sono results... We found a few things". I don't remember all that was said. It was a blur of emotions. I was trying not to cry. Wishing so badly that Cory was there with me. Wishing so badly this was all a bad dream. Dr. Gleason said that Mason had a cystic hygroma, a hole in his heart, and a thick nuchal fold. He said these defects are most commonly from a chromosome defect. Most commonly from down syndrome. He told me he had already set up an appointment to see a specialist that afternoon. He kept saying he was very sorry and he wished this wasn't happening to our baby. I took a few min to wipe my tear and to compose myself before I left the room. I tried as hard as I could not to cry while walking through the waiting room. Seeing all those happy pregnant ladies with HEALTHY babies...I lost it as soon as I got outside.

When I got to the car...I cried, I cried hard. I wanted so badly to go back 30min ago. When my baby was still perfect...still healthy. I cried till I got into our driveway. I took a few min to compose myself. Finally I got out of the car and walked to the house. I could hear the boys playing inside. Every fiber in my body didn't want to go inside, didn't want to utter the words that something was wrong with Mason, and I just didn't want this to be happening. I opened the door and was greeted with the smiling face of our sweet little Colby. I put down my purse as Cory walked into the kitchen. Our eyes met and my tears started flowing. He asked what was wrong, is everything ok? I couldn't talk....I was crying so hard. All I could muster was..."something is wrong with Mason". Cory rushed over and held me. He kept asking what was wrong with him. After calming down a bit I was able to tell him was Dr. Gleason had told me, and that we had an appt. in a few hours with a specialist. We cried and cried. My image of our perfect baby boy were gone.

We let our parents know what we had found out and great gma was coming to watch Colby while we went to the appointment with Cory's parents (they went to help listen with different ears) When we were there we had a level ii ultrasound, the tech took lots of pictures. She said they dont hold any information back and would let us know everything they saw. When she finished Dr Evans came in. He did parts of the ultrasound again to see for himself. I kept thinking this was all a bad dream, that he would say " nothing is wrong with this baby, must be some mistake". But he didn't. He told us that Mason has AV canal defect, cystic hygroma, thick nuchal fold, and poor foot arches. He said these traits lead to a strong chance of Down syndrome. Masons heart defect was more serious than we thought. A normal heart has 4 chambers.. Masons has 1. Also the Cystic Hygroma (lymphatic fluid sac) was not just at the back of his neck.. it was all around his head and neck. The rest of the details were a blur again. Dr. Evan said that we should get an amnio to see if Mason does indeed have DS. We were also told that there is a good chance Mason wont make it to birth. We sat in the room a bit longer.. asking questions, feeling numb, wiping tears. We told him we would get a amnio and go from there.

Since those appointments...I still feel pretty numb. Numb with pain, guilt, worry, tears, and anger. I feel as though someone I loved very much has died. That our perfect life was no more. Wondering why us? Why our Mason? We don't seem to have the answers to those questions and never will. All I can say now .. it that this is all in Gods hands. He is in control, and he has a plan for Mason. We just don't know what that plan is yet.

1 comment:

  1. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I will pray for you and Baby Mason!


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