Thursday, August 18, 2011

A letter to myself

Looking back almost 7 months ago....I wish I could have told myself it would be here is a letter to my pregnant self

Dear Pregnant Meagan;

Although right now everything is dark & gloomy, I want you to know your going to be just fine . Your life is going to change, your going to get some news you never expected. The Dr.s are going to tell you that Mason has Down syndrome, but sadly that is not all of it. Mason will be diagnosed with a Cystic hygroma... they will tell you he wont make it. You will endure a pregnancy filled with a lot of unknowns. You will have procedures done that will scare you ...but you will be ok. You will fine you are stronger than you ever thought possible...and that Eventually you will realize your sweet baby growing inside is a fighter also.

I know it feels like you cant stop crying, but soon the tears will be less & less. Right now will most likely be the hardest part of your life. Sadly only Cory & you know how it feels, others will try to understand what you are going through..but they wont be able to. Its just something they will never understand. But know that they all love you & love Mason. That Mason will be getting prayers from all over the world. You will be humbled by all the people who don't even know you, who are praying for your son. Right now all you can think about are all the scary words the Dr.s have thrown at you.... Down syndrome, heart defect, cystic hygroma, 3% survival rate.... but in the end these words wont see so scary. The Dr.s are going to tell you to prepare for the worst. You and Cory will set up funeral plans. It will break your heart like never before....but take care in knowing that Mason will come into this world

There will be a time during this pregnancy where you will tell Mason that its ok, he doesn't have to fight so hard anymore, that he can go to heaven, That mommy will see him again when she gets there. To utter these words will be that hardest words you ever say. You will be ok in the end...I promise. Mason will surprise you all along the way. Dont count him out, he will prove everyone wrong. He will be the answer to all your prayers. So dry your tears, and try to enjoy your pregnancy. In the end...all will be ok.

Your Future Self
Photos by GM photography (thank you again for the beautiful images)


  1. I love that you can write this. Your story amazes me and I'm so glad I was able to follow your journey and know it's wonderful outcome. I share your story often with others and they too sit in shock when I tell them how your little man is doing. You are a brave and strong mother and I don't know that I could find the strength you did. I'm so happy for you and look forward to continuing the journey with you through your words.

  2. What a beautiful thing you did for yourself. You and your family are an incredible source of strength and endurance. Continuing to pray for you and your sweet baby boy Mason.

  3. Hi
    My name is Jenna and I came across your site. You are an amazing, wonderful, strong, brave and courageous woman. Mason, is a precious, special, earthly angel. He is a courageous, strong, and determined fighter. He is a brave warrior, smilen champ and an inspirational hero. yourself, your family and Mason will be in my thoughts and prayers. I was born with a rare life threatening disease.

  4. Oh my goodness-- I just love you and Mason-- your letter is exactly how I felt-- I told Joey he could go to Heaven if he needed to. Can you believe they are both here??? I hope they can meet someday. We will keep watching to see when surgery is scheduled and I will blog about praying for him and we'll get all the prayers going! Hugs to you! Hugs to Mason!

  5. You are really a strong woman, fight for it and Mason will be a fighter too..

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  6. So wonderful to see such an incredible example of the power of prayers. So happy that Mason is such a fighter and is still fighting. Still thinking of him and praying until his little heart is mended.


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